My Dear Friend,

This is to thank you for your effort.I understand that your hands were
tied.Not to worry. I have succeeded,the money has been transfered into the
account provided by a newly found friend of mine in Australia.To compensate
for your past assistance and commitments,i have dropped an International
Certified Bank Draft of $9,000,000.00USD for you.

I am in London with my family presently. I do intend to establish some
business concerns here,and possibly buy some properties.Now contact my
Secretary in Benin Mr.Steve Fernando on Email (sc_stevefernando01@yahoo.fr)
Forward my email to him,then ask him to send the check to you. And remember to
forward your information to him. Such as your full name, your office and home
phone number, your contact address, and country.
Remain bless.

Regards,
Barr Ben Duke.

// This email is sent by a U2.com member. U2, Signatures
Network and their respective affiliates and principals are not responsible in
any way for, and do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse the contents of this
email.

I was wondering when I was going to get compensated for my past assistance and commitments. This $9M is really going to come in handy.

The sad thing is, people actually fall for this crap.

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

However, a lot of life’s problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its application of common sense. I heard these earlier:

1. “Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”
(Paul Rodriguez)

2. “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.”
(Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance ).

3. “Aim towards the Enemy.”
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)

5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)

6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
(Infantry Journal)

7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)

8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
(Gen. MacArthur)

9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)

10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)

11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)

12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
(Infantry Journal)

13. Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)

14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
(David Hackworth)

15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
(Infantry Journal)

16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
(Joe Gay)

17. Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.
(Admiral Hornblower)

18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)

19. Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
(Your Buddies)

20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)

21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn’t plan your mission properly.
(David Hackworth)

22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry.
(Drill Instructor)

23. Knowing is half the battle…..The other half is violence.
Wm. Duryea

24. In the Navy, the Chief is always right.
(Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters)

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

or

Press Alt-F4….

Before long the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Bubba was getting a 99 percent sign-up for the top GI insurance.

This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30.00 per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting. The Captain decided that he would sit in the back of the room and observe Bubba’s sales pitch.

Bubba Joe stood up before his latest group of inductees and stated:

“If you have the normal GI insurance and go to Iraq and are killed, the government pays your beneficiary $6,000.”

“If you take out the supplemental GI insurance which will cost you an additional $30.00 per month, the government pays your beneficiary $200,000.”

“Now… Which bunch do you think they’re gonna send into combat first?”

The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. Again the Professor taunted God, saying, “Here I am, God! I’m still waiting!”

His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face. The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor.

At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The class fell silent… waiting.

Eventually, the Professor came to. When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row. “What’s the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?”

The Marine smiled. “God was busy. He sent me.”

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, “You’re all working hard, and I’m very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?”

The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, “Which of you idiots ate the Chief?” A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, “You idiot! For four weeks we’ve been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a Chief!”

A: He’ll tell you.

Q: How can you tell when your date with a fighter pilot is half over?

A: He says, “But enough about me… Wanna hear about my plane?”

Q: What’s the difference between a jet engine and a fighter pilot?

A: A jet engine will stop whining when you shut the plane down.